Lawyer jokes

[hollerme]

Please be sure to update this!

A man died and was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of torment - the rack that was to stretch him in agony forever – he passed a side-room where a lawyer was being intimately entertained by a beautiful young woman. She was pandering to his every whim. "This is unfair," said the dead man. "Why have I got to spend eternity stretched on a rack among flames while that lawyer spends all eternity with that beautiful woman?"
The Devil prodded him with hispitchfork. "Silence!" he snarled. "Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?"

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him inline to see Saint Peter. To his surprise, Saint Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then Saint Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
Saint Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
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[Erason]

That last one was very funny!


“I’m beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Listen to this from his bill: ‘For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25′.”